As it Gets Closer

As it gets closer to my departure date, I think about what I have gone through in the past few months since I started my journey towards my future. I decided that I was not going to settle for a 8-5 job that pays good(a job that I like, and I am so happy and fortunate that I have, but it is not my dream job), and that I was going to take a chance and go into unknown territory. Since July 2015, my anxiety has gone up, I now take medication for it (which has really helped), I changed my mind about studying Spanish History and changed to German/Austrian, I started reading about the Holy Roman Empire from the 16th century to the early 19th century, have dedicated every second of my day to better myself and look after myself too. I set a goal to get healthier, not lose weight otherwise I will probably gain it instead. In 215 days, 22 hours, 17 minutes, I will be on a plane to my newest adventure. Every second that passes I think about what this new experience will be like. I am a natural worrier and I like to plan up to the last second of most things. It is hard for me as there are so many things that are not in my hands like getting a notification about financial aid. Last email just said that I will be contacted by march… MARCH! You know how long that is in Ascenett days?! That’s like 1 whole year, even thou it is only a couple of weeks away. I like to be in control of most if not everything I do, and it is starting to drive me crazy. So, as a solution I started to concentrate on looking pretty every day, doing my makeup every morning to give myself something that I can be in control of. I also started to go to the theme parks as much as possible with my friends as it gives me something to do besides worry every single day, plus I really do miss my friends. Every second it passes, it gets closer to my goal and I cannot wait, with the help of god and my mother, to get there sane.

Thank you for listening to my rant, and if you are feeling the same way about a future adventure that is coming up in your life, comment below. It is always good to know someone that is going through the same thing.





3 thoughts on “As it Gets Closer

  1. Hey. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling so worried since you are a really good blogger and YouTuber! I’m kind of going through the same thing, except it’s not stress about a job or travelling , it’s about school. I’m younger than most word press bloggers, so I’m still in school and not college. But I feel so nervous about homework and all this other stuff, it’s awful.

    I wish I could switch to cyber school, or a different school, but my parents just don’t understand that I don’t like the school I’m in right now. There’s a lot of drama, and a lot of stress about other things too, It’s just a place that no one could ever learn in. Or at least I can’t.

    My anxiety might be about a different thing than yours but, I can relate and I hope you feel better soon! If you ever need to talk or anything me and all your other fans are here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Wendy, I know what it is to have bad anxiety through middle school and high school I was bullied in elementary and middle school. I was heavily depressed and had a really bad panic attack in the hospital and had to be medicated. After that my family and I moved to the US and it helped. However, now that I am older I look back and I can see that I am stronger thanks to what I went through. I was “bullied” because of my weight, but after therapy with those that bullied me they understood that what they were doing was the wrong way to treat a supposed friend. The girls are now friends of mine. For you, all I can say is make a list of all those things that you really love to do whether is studying, hobbies, a sport, or traveling; and join clubs in school that have to do with that or look for a group/academy that focused on that out of school. What got me out of my depression was dance and history. They are my passion. Maybe being more in depth with what you are passionate about will help with the anxiety. Also don’t try to fit in with people who you have nothing in common with. Peer pressure is the worst. They will value you for the real you if they are real friends. Enjoy life, be passionate, be yourself. You have a friend here 🙂


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